Where'd My Words Go?

It's odd. I can write. I know I can.
Between 2003 and last year, I wrote any number of "news" articles for the Way of the Dodo site, not to mention the commentaries that accompanied most of the comics. At my last IT job, too many years ago now, I used to write software manuals for some of the more complex programs I created. Around that same time period, I was contributing regularly to the church newsletter. I've even finished the odd short story (although, again, it's been a while).
On top of all of that, I've participated in the National Novel Writing Month for the last four years running. True, I never even came close to any fifty thousand words.[1] But the word counts were there, and were positive numbers. My final word count last year was 32,310, if you really want to know.[2]
However, if you've been following this blog, I'm sure you'll have noticed a certain lack of activity here. I can hardly believe that it's been this long since I last updated.
Now, I have no difficulty writing per se. I can spend hours working on world-building or character development notes. I can list the topics I want to cover in an article that I might eventually get around to writing. Heck, I'm on volume five of the journal I started last year![3]
These days, though, it seems that whenever I sit down to write something that I expect other people to read - i.e.,something that's not my journal or an outline for my eyes only - then the well of words dries up like a . . . like a . . . like something that dries up . . . really fast.[4]
I created Four Thousand Characters to be an online portfolio of my writing samples. I created it to force myself to sit down and write on a regular basis. As I said in my first post, I envisioned a regular series of nonfiction articles on whatever topics tickled my fancy, and such short fiction as I could produce. Things most definitely have not gone according to plan.
Unfortunately, I've discovered what many aspiring writers before me have learned: the only thing easier than writing is not writing. I've gained a great deal of practice at not writing over the years. I'm an expert at not writing.
I can always find just the right distraction to prevent any actual productivity. Whether it's rummaging through the old files on my computer (again), or a little recreational Web surfing[5], there's always something I can be doing during writing time that isn't writing.[6]
Well, it's time to start writing again. I'm (still) out of work, so it's not like I can say I don't have the time. It's time to stop only thinking about having daily writing time, and start actually HAVING daily writing time. It's time to start exercising a little self discipline, and write something every day - even if it's crap that I delete right away.
And if there's nothing else, I can always start by writing about the writer's block. Just to prove that I really can write.

1 And what I did write consisted mostly of barely coherent rambling.
2 That represents a personal record. Every year I approach NaNo with the goal of beating the previous year's word count. So far I've achieved that, if nothing else, every year.
3 To be fair, I'm keeping the journal electronically, on the same antique PDA I use for this drivel. Volume divisions are entirely arbitrary.
4 See what I mean?
5 DSL is the procrastinator's best friend.
6 This applies to cartooning as well. I've got a load of half-finished cartoons lying around, that I just haven't done anything with.

Warning: Politics Ahead

A while back, I read an article about yet another government official taking yet another threatening posture toward Iran. I have to wonder if I'm the only one who finds such chest-beating disturbing. Apparently one unending quagmire of a Middle East invasion is not enough for some people.
I dealt with my frustration by jotting down a tongue-in-cheek list of my Top 10 reasons why we're probably going to invade Iran before too much longer. Since I haven't done much writing lately, I'm going to go ahead and post that list here:

10. It's urgent that the Bush Administration create another Mideast mess to make the job that much harder for either President Clinton or President Obama.
9. In case anything goes wrong, Fox News has already prepared a series of talking points to explain why it's Bill Clinton's fault.
8. The Iraq war has become too politically unpopular to secure more election victories for Republicans.
7. We need to distract people from listening to those darn scientists who won't shut up about that "global warming" stuff.
6. Long-term estimates suggest that our great-great-grandchildren may still have some money left over when they finally finish paying for the Iraq war.
5. We finally have that permanent U.S. military presence in the Middle East that the Project for a New American Century always wanted -- we may as well do something with it! (I'm not providing a link to PNAC. Just Google the phrase "Project for a New American Century.")
4. To the Religious Right's dismay, the Iraq war didn't lead directly to the Battle of Armageddon. (Yet.)
3. We still can't find that Bin Laden guy.
2. Those darn freedom-hating liberals just won't stop with all the Bush-bashing.

And the number one reason why we're probably going to invade Iran before too much longer:
1. The Iraq war isn't making enough money for Halliburton!

Sometimes These Things Just Write Themselves ...

As I've said before, GMail is pretty good at filtering Spam out of my inbox. All I have to do is glance over the contents of my Spam folder a couple of times a day, make sure there's nothing important in there (there usually isn't), and delete everything.
However, one item caught my eye this afternoon. With the exception of a few small omissions, I submit it here exactly as it appeared in my Spam -- page breaks, spelling, capitalization, and all. Tell me if you think this sounds like a legitimate offer:

{Name removed}
Incoperation
Baley House, Har Road
Sutton, Greater London SM1 4te United Kingdom
This is to inorm you that you have won a prize o(?00,000) IVE
HUNDRED THOUSAND GREAT BRITAIN POUNDS STERLINGS or the
month o eb.
2008
Lottery promotion ,which is organized by {Name removed} &
{Name removed}.
{Name removed}&{Name removed}, collects all the email
addresses o the
people that are active online. Among the millions that subscribed to
Yahoo and Hotmail we only select ive people every Month as our
winners
through electronic balloting System without the winner applying,we
congratulate you or being one o the persons selected.
PAYMENT O PRIZE AND CLAIM
You are to contact your Claims Agent on or beore your date o Claim,
Winners Shall be paid in accordance with his/her Settlement Centre.
{Name removed} Lottery Prize must be claimed no later than 15 days rom
date
o Draw Notiication ater the Draw date in which Prize was won.Any
prize not claimed within this period will be oreited.
These are your identiication numbers:
嚙達PRIVATE "TYPE=PICT;ALT=Get ed traic to your web site!"
Batch number.....................{removed}
Re number.......................{removed}
Winning number...................{removed}
These numbers all within your Location ile,you are requested to
contact EVENTS AGENT MANAGER,send your winning identiication
numbers
to
them at this contact address below.
(CONTACT EVENTS AGENT MANAGER)
{Name removed}
Email: {removed}

You are thereore advised to send the ollowing inormation to the
EVENTS AGENT to acilitate them and process the COURIER or your
money.
NAME:... ...................
AGE:.......................................
SEX:.......................................
ADDRESS:..............................
EMAIL:....................................
PHONE:...................................
OCCUPATION:.........................
COMPANY:..............................
NEXT O KIN...........................
STATE.....................................
COUNTRY:................................
NATIONALITY............................
Congratulations!! once again.


{Name removed}
Msn Secretary
{Name removed}
Online Co-ordinator

Snarky response #1: Well, I sure think they sound trustworthy. Don't you?
Snarky response #2: Imagine that -- I've won ?00,000 pounds! If I'm doing the math right, that works out to nearly !:# dollars.
Snarky response #3: I think I'll use my prize money to buy these guys a new "F" key.